Thoughts on Life

You know that moment when you finally open your eyes? Maybe you do, or maybe you don’t. It doesn’t really matter because I’m going to use a jumble of rhetorical devices to do so anyways. Basically, it’s like being submerged in water for a very long time, vision blurred by the water, and when you try to breathe…Well, breathing wouldn’t be a very good idea when you’re submerged beneath water.

I guess what I’m trying to say is that we, as a species, and that is me assuming you’re human, have the ability to live a life without actually living it. We have the ability to watch the world make us, craft us into these “people”, really, without even knowing it’s happening. Then, when we take a step back from looking in the mirror of life, we realize we don’t know where we are. We don’t know who these people are who claim to know who we are, but, of course, that’s impossible, because how can someone possibly know you better than yourself?

It’s that moment that I’m talking about: a moment of complete, utter terror. We all experience it at some time, and then when it happens, we are immersed into a new kind of water: the kind we pack into water bottles: the crystal clear kind. We start to recognize how weird it is that we have this way of making people change. We start to realize how strange it is that we can sit down in the middle of nowhere with someone who hasn’t had this “eye-opening experience” and we can tell that they haven’t, because they are jabbering about all their problems to you, rather than fixing them. We realize what it means to be living and it’s like the whole world becomes more than the spherical land mass we’ve known since the day we were birthed. It becomes a beacon of hope, and not only that, but more than that. It becomes our reason to remove all reasons to EVER go back to the days in the blurred water.

That realization, the realization that you’re alive; it’s the kind you cannot just make happen. In fact, I have come to learn that it might be a gift. That it is handed to us on a plate with our path in life. It happens to be a very invisible plate that, usually, we don’t recognize its existence until it’s shattering to the floor. A pity, really, that there has to be a big crash or bang for us to see the things that have been staring us in the face for what may have been forever.

You might be wondering where I’m going with this. The truth is that I have no idea. No, absolute, friggin, absurd clue is the honest truth.

What do I know? Well, that’s easy. I know that if I keep my legs crossed any longer that my feet are going to fall asleep. I know that when I go home tonight I will have to do the dishes. Oh, and I also happen to know that I don’t know where I’m going with this.

Look, now, I’m repeating myself. Joy.

Truth is, I really just needed to write something. I’ve had writer’s block for the past two and a half weeks, and if I didn’t just start writing soon…I was going to implode, and by implode I mean my organs would all erupt because my heart was beating in such a frenzy from a lack of oxygen, and the lack of oxygen was created by me holding my breath because I wanted to die instead admit the fact that I have hit a mental block in my inner creativity.

That escalated quickly…Deep breath on 3.

1…2…

More to that truth, I know what it means to have an eye-opening experience. I’ve had one on a couple occasions. My problem is that they NEVER last. I will have a change of heart and finally look in front of me, but then I’ll fall back into old habits and the “experience” will become a memory. The good news is that I’m fairly positive that a person can have more than one eye-opening experience. The problem is trying to make the experience last long enough to make something of it. There needs to be a way for one to have the experience while still waning off of old habits, because I think that’s the problem. Opening your eyes is like saying goodbye to whatever the nicotine was in your life. It could have been a friend, a relationship, a bad day from long ago, or even the chunky and/or molding spaghetti you ate the other night. You never know what it may be that is holding you back from experiencing the life you are meant to have.

And since I probably just ruined all chances of anyone eating spaghetti tonight…

I guess the best part about all of it is that no matter what kind of water you’re in right now, you have the ability to swim.

I think a lot of people do that- swim, I mean. They like to swim to the surface of the murky water every now and then to wallow in self-pity and watch the rest of the people actually get out of the water. It’s sad; because that person who just swims, they will never reach their full potential until he or she, too, gets out of the water.

There are a lot of reasons to float or swim or do whatever the heck you’ve been doing this whole time. However, none of them are valid, not if they are keeping you from living. Some people go their entire life without ever even being alive. Don’t let that be you.

Anyways, I still don’t really know what this article is all about. Honestly, it’s just my brain typing right now, unleashing its inner thoughts as I watch my screen put up words. I happen to believe that sometimes these are my best posts because of that, but, hey, who’s judging? Whether I actually made any sense during the entirety of this post, well, that’s EXTREMELY debatable. As for whether or not I’ve fixed my writer’s block, well, I think I may have. So, mission accomplished and good day…Or should I say good experience? I’m not sure, but when am I?

Ugh, okay, one more thing. Live, please, just live. Live, if not for yourself, for everyone who can’t seem to lift their heads up enough to breathe in fresh air. Live for the people who are drowning in the blurred water. Live for the present, for everything you stand for, rather than the things that you have let define you. Become the person you have been meant to become, even if you don’t know who that is quite yet. It’s probably easier said than done, but it CAN be done. So, just do it! Move on with your life in a new way, and I guarantee you will see the world in a way you didn’t know it could be seen.

3! *breathing*

Always,

Jinapher J. Hoffman

P.S.

Sorry, for any weird pronoun agreement errors. I’m working on that. Also, the blog will be under construction this weekend, FINALLY. Get pumped(:

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